Fatesealed: Kids' Session

There is a girl currently sitting at her desk, type-type-typing away at her keyboard! Today is her thirteenth birthday and it is only today, though she has lived alone for a while, that she will be given a real name, not one of those silly nicknames she often gives herself.
What will that name be?

>Fuzzyfur Overcheery

Oh, but that is so rude! Nah, she is just kidding. Her hair is kind of crazy sometimes, and she is ALWAYS happy!

But seriously what is her name.

>Rachel Floyde

Your name is RACHEL FLOYDE and you are CRAZY. Crazy FRIENDLY that is! You simply LOVE meeting new people, and you often treat STRANGERS as though you’ve known them your WHOLE LIFE. You are the kind of person that DANCES IN THE RAIN and SINGS ALONG to EVERY SONG, making you seem AT PEACE and HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE. You have high SELF-CONFIDENCE and ADORE your friends, often trying to HELP THEM OUT when you can. You love to DANCE, and SING, and DRAW, and WRITE, and…oh, you just love EVERYTHING FUN! You are always happy and cheerful, and often mess around with your friends, calling them things like ‘TRASHBAG’ or ‘DUDE’ or ‘TRASHCAN’, etc. You have never really been angry, as far as you can remember…you like it better that way! You type pretty normally, except that you are ALWAYS happy, and sometimes stress your words and moods, one way or another! : D Oh, and your chumHandle is wildWeirdo, of course!

What will you do now, young lady?

>Check Pesterchum, without a doubt!

You check who is online now that you have finished writing up your own little bio. Or was that even you writing it? Ah, you don’t know anymore, but it doesn’t matter! It’s late, and you wonder why anyone would be online at three in the morning! You’re up because you were having your usual one-person dance party to wake yourself up in preparation for the coming day!

>Browse through your extensive friends list and possibly be someone else

Be someone else? Why, that’s silly!

>Be the next poster’s Kid

You are now the character that comes into the story next, whoever that may be.

A thirteen year old boy, although he is far taller than most people of his age, is sleeping in his room. Although he has been alive for many a year, it is only today that he shall receive a name! So, what is this name?

>Smilegoth McPurple

There is no response from the boy... Hmm. Perhaps... Oh? What is this dream bubble?

>Be the Prince.

You follow the dream bubble thingy, and find an awake version of the same boy, sitting on his golden bed, wearing golden clothes, typing away at a golden laptop. You briefly wonder whether it's all actually gold or if it was just painted that way, seeing as almost everything in this room and even the massive city beyond the window is also golden. Perhaps we should try to name this boy again?

>Lyon Winters.

The boy looks up from what he had been doing briefly to give a smile, and then looks back down.

Your name is LYON WINTERS, and you are, or were, a rather INTERESTING PERSON TO BE AROUND. You have a slight obsession with the subject of DEATH, and have studied it extensively using every resource you can get your hands on. Your interests also included TEA DRINKING, BOOK READING, even a little bit of GAMING before, well... Before your Father passed away of some mysterious sickness, which has driven you to some level of INSANITY. You are in such a STATE OF DENIAL that you believe he still lives, and often check in on his skeleton, giving it TEA and CRACKERS often. You have STOPPED ATTENDING SCHOOL some time ago, and are currently living off of the INTERNET, CANNED SOUP, and CRACKERS. Your chumhandle is sepulchralLibrarian, and you y__r w_rds s__m _ l_ttl_... H_ll_w.

But none of that applies here! Here, you are a very happy person, because you have a ton of friends and everyone loves you! Plus there are those cool clouds! And your friends! Yeah, some of your friends even sleep in the neighboring towers. You hope every day that they wake up soon, but you have more than a hope there. The clouds have shown you that they will wake up soon enough.

>Lyon: Check to see if anyone is online.

Rachel is on... You wonder if you should pester her. She is fun to talk to, after all! But perhaps you should wait a little longer and see if anyone else gets on. Yes, that is a good plan! Unless she wants to talk to you, in which case that is fine also!

Your briefly wonder why you are so cheery, but then you remember why.

>Be the guy sitting on an oversized Pony plushie

Um, excuse me! Rainbow Dash HAS a name!

>Oh fuck fine
**RAINBOW DASH PLUSHIE

Much better! But yes, let's be him then shall we?

Might want to name him while you're at it!

>...Rainbow...Dash...?

Ahahah that'd be awesome, but unfortunately that's not right. He seems to sigh a little but gives a little smile. Might as well have another try at this naming thing!

>Gale Wood

Your name is GALE WOOD and you’re just a little DIFFERENT from most guys. You have a STRANGE love for MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC, but would rather people didn’t KNOW about it. You’re pretty CHILL, but could talk BULLSHIT for HOURS and not get FUCKING TIRED. The only thing that will SHUT YOU THE FUCK UP is if someone mentions MLP: FiM, because heck, they might want to TEASE you about it and SHIT LIKE THAT so why bother talking? You can be really SHY when talking to people you don’t know, but your FRIENDS are quite EASY for you to TALK to. Actually, you aren’t even sure if they LIKE you and just won’t TELL you to FUCK OFF. Your room is FILLED with RAINBOW COLOURED SHIT and PONY PLUSHIES, especially ones of RAINBOW DASH, who is you IDOL. FUNNILY enough, PONIES and HORSES are your FAVOURITE ANIMALS EVER, but your FAVOURITE COLOUR is NOT the whole FUCKING RAINBOW it's actually ANY SHADE OF GREEN, but the DARKER the BETTER. Though you would not DARE ever show ANYONE your room, as FUCK that would be SHIT if they found out about all of this CRAP. You also have the TENDANCY to be a LITTLE BIT GAY, but you’d rather people wouldn’t MENTION that either because it’s FUCKING EMBARASSING.
Your CHUMHANDLE is homicidalPony and /] bro hooves 4lwy4ys surround your words [\

Hehe yeah no one needs to know about that Pony thing you got going on! You'd attempt to make it a little less obvious but it isn't actually working too well for you. Oh well, you're certain no one has found out - not yet, anyway!

>Um... shouldn't you be asleep?

Fuck you that isn't even a command! But haha no! Of course not! You're fairly certain it's 8 am at LEAST for you right now! And hey that's not TOO early at all! Sure you might normally sleep a little more, but nah you're pretty sure you're awake and fine today! Gog DAMN people should probably stop assuming your timezone!


>Check Pesterchum

Hm? You've been online since you woke up actually, half an hour ago or so! You didn't really plan on talking to anyone, and just settled for watching My Little Pony for a while instead. Which, if you will admit is far more awesome than talking to people. You notice that Lyon and Rachel are both online, but you shrug and return to watching MLP. If anyone wanted to talk to you, they could start the conversation first!

>Do not be the girl with the hat

In retrospect, you could have made a better effort.

Despite your wishes that exist despite your apathy that exists despite your urge to move on from this cursed sentence that exists despite the obvious task of reading it that must be done despite the inefficiency of such a chore, you are now THE GIRL WITH THE HAT. Incidentally, it is the year of your thirteenth birthday, and you need a better name.

>THE GIRL WITHOUT THE HAT

Never, you think to yourself, as you cuddle your beloved headwear close to you. It collapses in on itself in a gesture of extreme adoration. God you love your hat.

>ANNA SITARA

Much better. You re-equip both your headgear and dignity.

Your name is currently ANNA SITARA and you are innately fond of all things even remotely resembling LITERATURE, VOCABULARY, and APPAREL, sometimes even going so far as to mix them together (to the horror of everyone present). You have on occasion been mistaken for a PILE OF LAUNDRY that just so happens to be reading a VOLUME OF PEEVES AND ROOSTER, which would be less embarrassing if it would be by a complete STRANGER and not your own COUSIN. Oh yes, your COUSIN. She's pretty cool. Between the two of you, you keep the house as clean as a HOUSE THAT AT NO GIVEN TIME HAS NO MORE THAN FIFTY SQUARE FEET OF OPEN FLOOR SPACE DUE TO THE LARGE AMOUNTS OF BOOKS, CLOTHING WITH NO IMMEDIATELY APPARENT CORRESPONDING BODY PART, AND CHARACTERS FROM ANNOYINGLY OBSCURE ANIME- hang on a second, better un-equip that dignity.

Mayhaps you should cut with the CAPSLOCK for just now, and anyway, you'd rather not think any more about your cousin's ANIME CHARACTERS. You have nothing against ANIME, but the girl takes it to RELIGIOUS LEVELS... not that you have anything against RELIGION, either. You believe rather strongly in RELIGION, though for some strange motive everyone is always so keen to immediately ask which one you believe in. People are just silly, you suppose... anyway, where were you? Oh yes. Your chumhandle is chicAberrancy and you take quite a lot of Enjoyntment from Supplemutilating your vocabulary with the occasional Addendiary from your own private Dictionarium. (incidentally, spellcheck and autocorrect are your two worst enemies.)

>Do something less monologue-y

You obligingly put down your copy of THE HEDGECLIPPER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY and maneuver across your room to your COMPUTER. Look, three of your friends are online! Hopefully they won't be too busy or sane to talk to you today. (You suspect you shan't have to worry about the latter with most of them.)

Now... who to pester first. You pick up HEDGECLIPPER'S and continue reading to give your SUBCONSCIOUS time to decide.

>TAKE OFF THE HAT

Well, it IS a very nice hat...but okay! It would only fall off your head when you continue your awesome dance party in a few minutes!

>Be the overly happy girl again

Because who doesn't LOVE overly bright and happy green text?

>Rachel: Pester SOMEBODY for goodness sake!

You think that you've waited long enough. If someone wanted to talk to you of their own accord, they would have by now.

You're gonna put the Pester in Pesterchum!

Quote :

---wildWeirdo [WW] began pestering homicidalPony [HP]---
WW: Hey there trashbag!
WW: What're you doing up so early? :O
WW: What's going on?
WW: Anything exciting happening?
WW: Or are you just chilling out like a cool dude?
WW: Yeah. Cooooool~
WW: (:

Now that you've gotten a bunch of random and meaningless questions out of your system, you go back to dancing and wait for Pesterchum to beep when Gale responds~!

Life is amazing, isn't it just? : D

>Anna: Come to a decision

Ooh, you know! You'll pester Lyon.

Excitedly, you stock your place in HEDGECLIPPER'S with thirteen bookmarks and place it on a nearby stack of unfinished novels and unpaired socks. Lyon is a tad on the morbid side, and occasionally creeps you out, but a conversation with him is just what you need to spice up (and down, and sideways) this dreadfully sunny afternoon. Besides, it gets quite lonely trapped in a house with only one's hat and aan insane MANGA FANGIRL for company.

Quote :

---chicAberrancy [CA] began pestering sepulchralLibrarian [SL]---
CA: Ahoy there!
CA: So here I am, enjoying a Modestractful bit of literature, when suddenly you come Obargerating online.
CA: Can a girl get no peace and quiet? d:)
CA: Heh, I kid, I kid. Truth is, things have been a Smidgeneration too quiet around here.
CA: How fare things on your end? Enjoying a spot of tea?

You eagerly stare down the computer screen, hoping he's in the mood to talk.

>Lyon: Be pestered.

Of course! But first, you feel the need to point out that most conversations with your friends would count as pestering. Seriously! But back to the conversation.

Quote :

SL: _h, g__d _v_n_ng _nn_!
SL: _ _m _fr__d th_t _ _m n_t c_rr_ntly _nj_y_ng _ny t__.
SL: H_w_v_r, _ _m _nj_y_ng _ pl__s_nt dr__m!
SL: T_ b_ h_n_st, _ _m s_rpr_s_d _ c_n sl__p _t _ll.
SL: T_d_y b__ng s_ch _n _mp_rt_nt d_y _nd _ll.

>Lyon: Do something cool.

Command momentarily denied. You will just as soon as you are done talking to people.

>Gale: Keep watching MLP.

Ahaha you dont even HAVE to make that command, it's going to happen anyway so commanding it is useless! Oh PesterChum beeped, you should probably do some BADASS MULTITASKING and answer while still watching MLP. Which isn't that hard, anyway.

>Gale: Bring Pesterchum back up.

You do so in a way that the window sits nicely out of the way next to the Youtube video being played (which you did have to exit fullscreen mode with, unless you wanted to miss it. And hey you could always just pause the video but you're just not thinking about that)

Quote :

HP: /] oh hi r4chel! [\
HP: /] uhhmmmm [\
HP: /] l4st time i checked [\
HP: /] it w4s 8 4M [\
HP: /] i wouldnt re4lly consider th4t 4s e4rly.. [\
HP: /] 4nd um ye4h! [\
HP: /] just chilling 4nd being cool 4nd stuff [\
HP: /] ye4h [\

Even though you're not even trying to be cool at all. Because you're perfectly aware of exactly how DUMB AND GAY everything you're doing is.

Quote :

WW: 8 am?
WW: Silly Gale!
WW: It's CLEARLY only 3 in the morning!
WW: Wait...are YOU the one that lives in a different time zone?
WW: I always forget these kind of things, sorry! ;P

You really need to start writing these things down. They always seem to get the better of you, but you're not embarrassed! You can't be expected to remember EVERYTHING after all!

You look around for a piece of paper, completely forgetting that you have a computer that can create and store word documents in its memory systems right in front you.

>Anna: Be counterpestered

Today? Important? Perhaps you've missed something. Was your cousin being serious? Is it really international shove-your-younger-houseguest-off-their-stool day? If so, you sure have some apologizing to do. Still blushing from the obvious misunderstanding, you resume typing.

Quote :

CA: Oh my goodness, I completely Forgotstracized!
CA: I didn't even know you had a house guest...
CA: Aside from your, well, your father.
CA: And he doesn't seem to be much of the 'stool' type.
CA: Anyways...
CA: You're asleep? On that Weirdelightful dream planet of yours?

You're not sure if you've ever truly believed Lyon's stories of golden spires and magnificent yellow magnificence, but that's probably because you're quite upset that you can't visit such an awe-inspiring place yourself. Your dreams are generally filled with stairs, hallways, and hideously warped body parts.

>Anna: Remember

It is at this moment that your subconscious deduces how stupid the idea of an international shove-your-younger-houseguest-off-their-anything day is. No, you believe one of your friends (or had it been several?) had previously mentioned some sort of game, to which Lyon must be referring.

He probably wouldn't even be that excited to push his father from a stool, anyway.

Coincidence of coincidences, there is another boy who has reached the age of thirteen today. It's like the world had a little baby boom thirteen years ago.

This kid has been out to make a name for himself since he could walk, but since he's still just another dude stuck home alone with his parrot, it seems he needs a bit of help in the name department. Care to weigh in?

>HUXLEY MCGOLDDIGGER

What dumb kind of a name is Huxley, anywho? That's just stupid. Try again.

> ETHAN ABBOTT

Much better.

Your name is ETHAN ABBOTT, and you are compulsive entrepreneur. If it's not NAILED DOWN, you have an irresistible URGE to MAKE MONEY from it. You're a distant relative of the ROCKEFELLERS, which may have something to do with that. Whether it's LIMONADE, MUD PIES, or LAWN MOWING, you've done it all. Your parents are NOWHERE TO BE FOUND, as they went off on a BUSINESS TRIP somewhere and never came back. Meanwhile, you are left with your COLORFUL PARROT and a near-infinite supply of parrot chow. You currently run an INTERNET ARBITRAGE SHOP that mostly involves buying other people's junk, spray-painting it copper, gluing some GEARS on it, and calling it STEAMPUNK. This would be so much more useful if your PARROT didn't know your CREDIT CARD INFO and didn't use it to buy a near-infinite supply of GRAPES. You have recently decided to stick it to that DAMN BIRD and learn how to make CHEAP WINE. There's a batch in the basement of your SUBURBAN ABODE. You enjoy MUSIC in languages you don't speak, INTERNET CULTURE, and HATS. Your chumhandle is magnanimousAnarchist, and you type fairly normally, save for being a
slow typist
and constantly
hitting return in the middle of all your sentences
to make sure they get in.

>Retrieve Arms.

What sort of... Huh? There are clearly no arms in the room. Were you trying to force a joke or something? If you were starting something clever, that would be cool, but you obviously weren't.

>Check Pesterchum.

Right-o. This is doable. You open the app and see who's online... a few people, but you don't feel like starting a conversation right now. So, you leave that open in the background and check how much cash you've raked in on IBAY.

Quote :

SL: H__s_ g__st? St__l?
SL: _h, n_v_rm_nd! _t d__sn't m_tt_r.
SL: Y_s, _ _m c_rr_ntly dr__m_ng, _lth__gh, _f _n_ w_sh_s t_ b_ _cc_r_t_, _t _s _ m__n.

>Lyon: Check up on Anna's dreamself.

Quote :

SL: _nd y__ _r_ h_r_, t__!
SL: Y__ w_n't r_sp_nd t_ m_ th__gh.
SL: _ g__ss y__ m_st st_ll b_ _sl__p!

You lean on the windowsill, checking in on your friend, wearing a delightful golden dress. Ever since you can remember, you've been checking up on your three friends who sleep here on Prospit with you. The other four live on the other moon, Derse! You're Mother told you that when you were very little. You fondly remember asking if you could visit them, and then being told that No, you cannot. You asked why, and she told you it was because Father said no, and that you were too important to loose.

Quote :

SL: _ r__l_z_ th_t s__nds n_tty.
SL: _f c__rs_ y__ _r_ _w_k_!
SL: J_st n_t _n th_ w_y _ _m!

>???: Temporarily refrain from self-describing monologue for sake of plot progression

You'll refrain from a biography for right now, but whether or not the plot progresses isn't really a priority to you.

Quote :

inauspiciousVision began pestering wildWeirdo
IV: Hey.
IV: Jvst to be clear, we /are/ playing that game today, right?
IV: Becavse I got ovt of today's homeschooling session becavse I said I was hanging ovt with friends, and I don't want to pretend I'm talking to yov gvys by tabbing ovt to pesterchvm every other second jvst to keep her off my case.
IV: Last time I did that I ended vp somehow becoming my own cleverbot.
IV: Bvt that isn't important. The important thing is that I jvst need to know if we're playing tonight or if yov're going to be bvsy seeing kvm ba ya while drowning in yovr hair or whatever.
IV: Seriovsly, it's vnnatvral to be that damn happy all the time.
IV: If reverse antidepressants were a real medication, I'd write yov a prescription so fast the pen wovld spontaneously combvst as it whizzed across the signed docvment, penning in my name in trve messy-doctor-handwriting form.

>Anna: Reassure self of lucidity

You're about 97% certain that you are awake. After a few savage head-bashes, you have total confidence in your hypothesis, somewhat less of a desk, and a very large cranial gash. Cloth bandages fetched from your RIDICULOUSLY-STUFFED CLOSET neatly address the latter, while you type furiously in regards to the former.

Quote :

CA: I'm with you there? And asleep to boot...
CA: Certainlikely sounds like me, though. Always snoozing about.
CA: One thing that my brain Conrefuses to Overstand, however...
CA: How, pray tell, are you Allowabled to contact me?
CA: Wouldn't you be Transmitigating these messages to some sort of Dreamternet, rather than the real one?
CA: Oh, Nevermindless. It matters not. The real question is, when the Emily Dickens are you going to wake up so we can Beginter this game of yours?

The limitless potential of dream-transgressing instant messaging opens up before your eyes. Perhaps after you play this game, whatever it is, you could capitalize on the limitless book-writing possibilities of such technology and become a billionaire. People would HAVE to put up with your outfit then.

Quote :

SL: W_ll, s_nc_ _ _m n_t g__ng t_ b_ th_ f_rst _n_ t_ _nt_r, _ w_g_r _ c_n c_nt_n__ sl__p_ng f_r _ l_ttl_ wh_l_.
SL: _ d_ h_p_ th_t _sn't _ pr_bl_m.
SL: _ft_r _ll, _ c_n c_mm_n_c_t_ w_th _ll _f y__ _v_n _f _ d_n't w_k_ _p!

>Lyon: Retrieve arms.

As you float outside the window of Anna's tower, you retrieve your arms... If by arms, you mean your weapon. Your weapon isn't much, really; just a weird golden version of your waking world cane. Again, you have no idea why everything is gold here on Prospit... It never really bothered you, though. Everyone here is always so nice and cheery, just like the whole moon looks!

>Lyon: Wake up.

You are afraid that might not be the best suggestion as of right now. As you told Anna, you can communicate just fine from Prospit, and it won't be your turn to enter the game for a while, so what's the rush?

>Lyon: Respond

You quickly respond to the message on Rachel's screen as none other than Rachel herself.

Quote :

WW: Oh hey there dude!
WW: Up early, ah?
WW: Or are you in a different timezone too?
WW: You guys always get me confused with that! X)
WW: Yeah I think the game should get here by now, I haven't checked if I got my copy yet...
WW: Let me go do that, maybe you should too broski!
WW: Heheheh. (:

>Look out your window

Window? What window? Oh, THAT window, of course! *facepalm* What were you thinking, there is a window right next to your desk!

>LOOK OUT YOUR WINDOW

you swivel your awesome spinny chair to have a nice view of your yard, though it is night time and everything is pitch black out there. You decide better of checking your mailbox, just...you don't like the dark, especially when you are alone. You'll wait 'til it's light out.

Quote :

WW: Uh...
WW: It's really dark outside!
WW: I can't see a thing!
WW: I think I'll wait to check my mail when the dawn comes.
WW: Which really shouldn't be too long from now! : D

Quote :

CA: Really now? Well, if you Insistern!
CA: I Supposition that I shall have to deal with being suspended in suspense for the moment.
CA: I can spend the Twixtime procuring a copy of this game.
CA: SBURB, if I Member correctly?
CA: Anywaypoints...
CA: I shall see you around! Places to go, people to spy on!
CA: And this Damnationnaballistic computer is too heavy to lug with me.
CA: Fare well! d:)

>Anna: Locate copy of SBURB

You give Lyon the chance to say goodbye (it has always bugged you when your friends cease pestering you before proper acknowledgements could be administered) before picking up HEDGECLIPPER'S and preparing to exit your room, which incidentally has no door but rather a very large, rectangular, ground-level window with a door hung on it. It's just large enough to walk through quite easily and never ceases to puzzle you.

But before the inevitable transgression of the windowsill, you make sure to equip your FORMERLY ARTISTIC INKPEN to your penkind specibus. It comes in handy when one requires a small cylinder, say, to jam in the snapping maw of an enraged crocodile, but is actually fairly useless when it comes to writing. All it ever seems to want to write is mushy romantic nonsense, which you have no patience for. No patience whatsonever. Nope. Silly little pen. Silly, silly little pen.

>Be someone we haven't met

Oh look. This girl seems a little busy... Anyone know what her name is?

>Nerdmister McOldfashioned

Uh oh... You better correct that... She's holding a screwdriver!

>Alice Harper

Congratu-freaking-lations!

Your name is ALICE HARPER. And you are kind of a NERDMISTER MCOLDFASHIONED you guess.... Maybe the voice was right? Meh... Anyway... So yeah... You like the outdoors, apples, your dog, and things related to the industrial revolution. And the voice is also being LAZY AS HELL WITH THIS INTRODUCTORY... Oh well.... Wait weren't you working on something?

>Fondly regard thing you are making

You are currently making STEAM POWERED SHOTGUN... How exactly one could make such a thing is beyond most... Your not even 100% sure of what you are doing! But if there is a chance you can make something powered by steam, you will try it.

===>

AW FUCKSICLES!!!! Great! Just great! It just broke apart into scrap metal and shit... Way to go with that screw driver dumb ass! You better clean that up... You better get to it now before someone pesters you... GOD you hate it when you are busy and then others pop up like you have nothing to do... God forbid the world turns around, you will know how to make things that run on STEAM.

>Gale: Realise your friend replied

OOPS. Too busy watching MLP? Okay is it honestly so much more important than talking to your friends?

...

hey you know what don't answer that.

>Gale: Don't answer that

Despite your efforts to obey that voice you shrug. Wait why are you even listening to this fucked up voice what the hell. And you're replying to it now fuck you must be going crazy.

>Gale: Reply to Rachel

Aw'right.

Quote :

HP: /] ummmm [\
HP: /] ye4 im pretty sure [\
HP: /] i live in 4 different timezone [\
HP: /] not th4t th4ts obvious or 4nything [\

Why are you being sarcastic dammit you KNOW sarcasm doesn't translate well over the fucking internet.

>Rachel: Respond

You are not insulted by Gale's...tone...you know he didn't mean it that way!

...Did he.

Quote :

WW: Oh...
WW: Okay!
WW: ...What time is it there now?
WW: It's almost dawn here, about...
WW: 6 am, I think?
WW: Oh! That reminds me!
WW: It's not too dark to see now! I can check the mail!
WW: Speaking of which, have you gotten your copy of the new game we are playing?
WW: Be right back, Gale!

>Excitedly run down the stairs to joyfully hop up and down in front of your mailbox!

You do just that. You hop one, two, three times and smile as you open the mailbox. There it is, the envelope marked SBURB. You reach inside to grab it, and you get to feel it with your fingertips before your arm gets rapped by a yardstick.

Surprise surprise. Your guardian is here to make you study instead of play this new game.

Stupid lousy good-for-nothing-but-teaching teacher.

>Rachel: Strife

You forgot to allocate your strife specibus! You never thought you would have to fight your way through your teacher to get this game!

>STRIFE

You can't!

>Introduce this kind young fellow who may or may not be a silly boy

Sadly, he does not have a name. What will his name be you wonder? Well, you should be wondering because you're kinda sorting naming him but still. Onward.

>Lamejerk McRumbleass

Now that's just rude. Look, he has a disappointed look on his face now. Way to be a bitch, bro. Try again or gtfo.

>Try again

Your name is ALAN CARMODY and you are one CLASSY fellow. You live in a large MANSION in EUROPE that your ADOPTIVE parents own even though you never see them. Your BUTLER is your only form of human company besides your many CHUMS and even though there should be other PEOPLE working in your home, you never seem THEM. You suspect that it is an elaborate RUSE thought up by your parents for some BULLSHIT REASON. You also take your trusty CAT with you at all times, because one can never know when they might have a PANIC ATTACK due to all of the rooms/lack of people. You act rather DIGNIFIED around the BUTLER, but normally you are a SILLY LITTLE BOY. You fancy CRAFTS and READING and oftentimes wish that you lived in an only SLIGHTLY ABOVE AVERAGE WEALTH FAMILY. Your chumhandle is alloftheClass and you talk with enthusiasm/sarcasm, use fancy words like impeccable, and always make sure not to forget Mr. (Crappy) Monocle at the end of your messages! OuQ

>Alan: Prepare

Why now, what could you possibly be preparing for? Well you wouldn't want to disappoint the voice in your head that compels you to do strange things. You shall prepare yourself from everything that probably won't happen.

Your room is rather normal compared to the rest of your abode. The floor is messy for the next twenty minutes or so, you walls don't have any posters (though you wish you could put some up) but with how crowded your room is and the amount of books and miscellaneous things all around, it looks rather full. There's a stack of books under your desk.

>Alan: Allocate Strife Specibus

You find your 2xknifekind under the bed, hidden away. Can't have that pesky butler stealing your super-deluxe-not-so-fancy-fancy-knives.

They're just steak knives. Completely metal too. Y'know, 'cause you're fancy.

>Pester friends

Maybe you will. Hmm? Stop trying to control everything, Mr. Magical Voice.

>Alice: Clean up scrap metal.

You begin to pick up the pieces of of metal off the floor, careful to not accidentally step on anything. You used to make mistakes like that. The result was either damaged metal, or your foot hurting for an hour. Most of the time it was your foot. But your foot is better than-

===>

NO! BAD DOG!!! Once again your faithful but sometimes STUPID companion decides that metal is the most DELICIOUS thing in existance. But he is a very fun pet though... enjoys the outdoors just like you. Though he chews on metal, Maxwell is still a good, loyal boy.

>See who is one pesterchum.

Now that you have stopped the kanine from devouring the hard metal scraps, and put them back into your FETCH MODUS, you decide to relax a bit and see who is on. You SHOULD be seeing what went wrong, but you have been working on that thing for hours. Someone interesting has to be on.

>Anna: What are you waiting for? Get that game!

With your freshly equipped FORMERLY ARTISTIC INKPEN, you are almost prepared to make a formidable effort at attempting to take on just about anything the universe might feel inclined to toss in your general direction at most times in the near future. Everything else, you are fully prepared to tackle head-on with your SOMEWHAT-EXISTENT THINKING SKILLS.

After carefully exiting through the GROUND-LEVEL WINDOW, which not only is large enough for a door to fit into it but connects with the rest of your house, you wade through the adjoining hallway, which is filled with books, papers, and various PLUSHIES. You accidentally step on a MIKU HATSUNE DOLL, and hope to whatever deities currently preside that your cousin will not notice for at least another few years.

>Anna: Be future Anna

After making your best attempt to be future Anna, you fail with passion and will be forced to actually walk the two miles to the game store. Fortunately for you, a pair of blue envelopes are sitting (quite smugly) in the mailbox. How they got there, you haven't the slightest. Perhaps certain WEIRD, AS YET UNEXPLAINED TIME SHIT is involved.

Regardless, you are soon future future Anna who is back inside her cozy pigsty of a room with exactly 1.9 disks of pure SBURB. A large insect has, sadly, lunched on the client disk. You hope he or she enjoyed it and even give the object a cautious nibble yourself.

>???: Grow impatient

You send a mass message to your entire chum list. Time to get this show on the road.

Quote :

inauspiciousVision began pestering {chum-list.li}
IV: Alright.
IV: I'm here to beat the bvsh and start gaming.
IV: And the bvshes died last winter.
IV: So who's rvnning this clvsterfvck anyways?
IV: We need to get some organization here.

>Anna: Respond

Oh look, things seem to be getting underway. Time to throw your lot in with the rest!

Quote :

chicAberrancy responded to {chum-list.li}
CA: Agreedicted.
CA: I think it's only fair to Informatify you all that my copy is a tad eaten.
CA: The 'server' disk is Perfectionarily intact.
CA: Should we form teams, or Electrify a leader?

Though you have little idea how this game works, you're fairly sure you wouldn't be a good leader. Following has always been your strong suite, or at least, that's what your cousin tells you.

You decide to believe her. It's easier than forming your own independent opinion.